Communication: The Avenue to Connection

I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about open communication in caregiving families and explicitly communicating our needs to those around us. As I was writing that blog, so many more thoughts flooded my mind about the importance of communication. There are so many simple things that we overlook as we try to connect with those around us. And isn’t our ultimate goal for connection?

Let me start by saying, I am not writing these blogs because I am good at communication. In fact, it’s probably more accurate to say that I’m writing these blogs because I’m often bad at it. But I guess when you hit a wall enough times, you eventually learn how to climb over it. 

Connection is a two-way street and we all know it takes two to tango. However, we only have power over our own personal behavior and growth. So, that is what my blogs will be focused on. I want to share on what each of us can do individually to make ourselves more available for connection.

One of the keys to a good relationship in any area of our lives is communication. It sounds elementary, but if we take a good look, many of the problems we have in our relationships come from a lack of good communication. As much as we all would like to believe we are experts at this and it’s everyone else’s problem [cough cough], let me suggest that we can always keep growing in this area. 

We have to learn to communicate because communication is an avenue towards connection. And our ultimate goal is connection!

If you want people to cross the line to connect with you, you might start by crossing the line to connect with them. The easiest way to connect is to be the first one to reach out the hand. 

I understand that this can require some vulnerability, especially if the relationship is already strained. But the way I see it, you have a choice. You can live disconnected from those you long to be connected with most, or you can take baby steps to change and build connection.

Connection has to be built and maintained. 

Have you ever been a part of a team at work, school, or church where you were assigned to a task with others and felt so connected to those people you were with that the task itself became simple? On the opposite spectrum, have you found yourself on a team that felt completely disconnected? Did you find it difficult to even want to do the task itself because of the team didn’t seem connected? 

I’m convinced you can do almost anything if you feel connected. 

As special needs families, we have no choice but to become a team. When that team feels connected, navigating the day-to-day care needs and high stress moments becomes a much lighter task. However, when that team feels disconnected, the day to day can start to feel very heavy. 

Let me emphasize a truth we all know in our hearts, but sometimes forget. 

We were not made to do life alone. 

Or another way to say it: We were not made to do life feeling alone.

So what if we made it our goal this year to become better connected at all costs? What if we took this time, while many of us are stuck in our homes, to reconnect with those right in front of us — to make protecting and cultivating connection within our families a higher priority than anything else?

My upcoming blogs will be dedicated to this subject, because I believe that the only way to thrive is to live connected! 

I hope that you’ll find helpful tools in my series and from all the writers contributing to the Walk Right In Ministries blogs. We hope something of our own stories, experiences, tips and encouragement will spur you on. I hope you’ll be inspired to rekindle connectedness with those around you and even think creatively about making some new connections! Time spent working on this is never wasted. I think we can come out of this most interesting season of our lives learning more about ourselves and creating new pathways to better things.

Let me encourage you. If you are discouraged reading this because of the state of some relationship(s) in your life, let me tell you something. No relationship or situation is too far gone. Connection can require intentionality, forgiveness and patience. But it is never too late to start building something together. The key is just to start!

So let’s start together. 

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

ISAIAH 43:18-19

Erin is a singer-songwriter and worship leader. Her songwriting, blogging, and speaking is often inspired by challenges and insights she experienced growing up in a family affected by disability. Erin serves with Walk Right In Ministries speaking on special sibling issues and assisting with social media. She has also served frequently in her community and home church as a worship leader. 

Erin earned her Bachelor of Arts Degree in Songwriting at Belmont University in Nashville and currently lives in California where she completed three years of study at the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. Her latest CD Come Alive (released 2018) and is available on iTunes, Amazon, Spotify, YouTube and other streaming services.

Find out more at www.erinjamieson.com.

Open Communication: The Currency of Love in Caregiving Families

My family has learned that we communicate a lot nonverbally. Carly, my sister who has Angelman Syndrome, is (for the most part) nonverbal. So we’ve learned to read the people and situations around us without needing to say much. The problem with that is that we often find ourselves frustrated and even resentful when the people around us are not “reading” what we are not saying.

Hear this loud and clear. It is okay to have needs and to express them. 

Did you hear me? It’s okay. It’s good. 

We were created to need each other. And that is a blessing! 

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.

Galatians 2:18

Caring for one another’s needs is a currency by which we exchange love! If you are a caregiver, you know this full well! We show the one we are caring for that we love them by taking care of their needs! But how do we take that currency of love to all the relationships around us and also let people love us?

As special needs families, we spend much of our lives putting aside our own needs for the more pressing needs of our family member. There is something very beautiful and even noble about the ability to do that for someone else. What an act of service and love!

However, if we completely neglect our own needs, we will slowly wear down our own ability to care well for the very one(s) we are trying to protect. 

We can tend to neglect what is going on inside of ourselves in favor of what we have to do to care for others. Then we allow moments of stress to give us permission to unleash all of the negative emotions we’ve got stored up in there. But if we can process our emotions as they come, not every stressful situation will feel like the sky is falling. 

I’m as guilty of this as anyone. But I’m learning. If you can catch your emotions early, take time to process them and evaluate what you need before the pent up emotions start creating negative behavior, anger and even resentment towards the people around you (i.e. your family), you’ll find you have much healthier and satisfying interactions them. In turn, you’ll enjoy much better relationships long term. To me, that’s well worth the effort of knowing myself and my emotions — giving them the time of day when they need it!

The best thing you can do for your sibling, parents, kids, family members and friends is to practice self-awareness and be proactive in communicating. There is enormous positive potential in sharing your own needs and asking others to share what they need. Especially in a season where most of us are experiencing more time in close quarters with those around us than ever, it’s important to learn tools for communicating well so everyone remains in good spirits!

There is enormous positive potential in sharing your own needs and asking others to share what they need.

We need practice being aware of our own needs and then learn good ways to communicate those needs.

“I’m so busy today, I’m never going to get everything done.” 

“You never wash the dishes!” 

“I wish the laundry would just wash itself!”

Believe it or not, these are not the best ways to ask for help. In fact, they’re not asking at all. Statements like this may feel like an obvious hint to those around us about what we need. But they don’t actually give effective information about how we would like to be helped! In fact, they can even communicate criticism or disappointment in others and their lack of ability to meet our needs. You’ve essentially told your loved one, even if inadvertently, that they have already lost the battle in trying to help you or love you.

Why would they try now?

We can allow moments of stress to give us permission to unleash all of the negative emotions we’ve got stored up in there. But if we can process our emotions as they come, not every stressful situation will feel like the sky is falling. 

How do we take the currency of love to all the relationships around us and also let people love us?

Let me clarify that it is totally okay to express frustrations and disappointments to your loved ones. However, it is important to check our own motives as we do so that we are not trying to send a subtle message behind our words. (We’re all guilty of it, I promise). 

  1. Ask yourself what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way.
  2. Ask yourself what would make it better or how others around you can help.
    (This sounds simple, but for most of us this is actually very difficult and might take a little soul searching, but trust me, it’s worth it.)
  3. Directly ask those around you for what you need! 

It sounds profoundly simple, I know. And it is. But once you start thinking about it, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll notice yourself trying to give subliminal messages to those around you without actually saying what you really want or need. 

I know, I know, it feels like cheating if you have to ask for it — even selfish! But the truth is, we are asking a lot of the people around us if we are expecting them to read our minds. We are caregivers! We know how to help the person we are caring for. Possibly the people we know least how to help are our other family members — and yes, ourselves

If you’ve ever been in school, you know the best kind of test is an open book test. When we expect our loved ones to know what we are asking for without us outright saying it, we are asking them to take a test on a textbook they’ve never read! The reality is, they don’t know what you need because your needs are as unique as you are.

Let’s do ourselves and our loved ones a favor this Holiday season (and all year round). Let’s give each other the gift of the answer key to us.

Let’s give each other the information we need to win in relationship with one another! 


Erin is a singer-songwriter and worship leader. Her songwriting, blogging, and speaking is often inspired by challenges and insights she experienced growing up in a family affected by disability. Erin serves with Walk Right In Ministries speaking on special sibling issues and assisting with social media. She has also served frequently in her community and home church as a worship leader.

Erin earned her Bachelor of Arts Degree in Songwriting at Belmont University in Nashville and currently lives in California where she completed three years of study at the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. Her latest CD Come Alive (released 2018) and is available on iTunes, Amazon, Spotify, YouTube and other streaming services.

Find out more at www.erinjamieson.com.

A Sibling’s Perspective On Visiting Home for Christmas

I think I can speak for all of us when I say the last year has been riddled with difficult decisions and the experience of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. There have been very few (if any) easy solutions in this season of life. It’s overwhelming to say the least. There are so many layers to the ways this pandemic has affected each of us.

For me, when the shelter in place was ordered in my state back in March of this year, it marked an unexpected and abrupt ending to my last year of ministry school. It was a frustrating and disappointing loss. My family had planned a trip to California for my graduation complete with a caregiver for my sister Carly so we could all enjoy ourselves through the festivities. (Carly is 22 years old and has Angelman Syndrome.) I certainly missed the opportunity to celebrate such a monumental moment alongside my family whom I hadn’t seen since Christmas 2019.

Of course at that point in time, none of us knew the extent to which this pandemic would encroach on our plans, and our lives.

I knew when I moved across the country from my family that there would be times we would have to go long periods of time without seeing one another. But I never imagined having such a barrier between my family and me. I never imagined a world where I would have to protect my sister by staying away from her.

Erin (left) and Carly (right) enjoying the snuggle-hug we all love.

For most of the fall it looked like I wouldn’t be coming home for the holidays this year. Trying to navigate travel and figuring out how to adequately quarantine and protect my family while limiting my time away from my commitments back in California was a feat.

I never imagined a world where I would have to protect my sister by staying away from her.

For better or worse, the lockdowns in my state actually allowed me the flexibility to come home for the holidays. However, in order to limit travel, coming home for Thanksgiving meant staying through the New Year—a break I would have been used to in my college years, but a long time to be away from your own home when you’re 25 years old.

Bittersweet. It’s all bittersweet. Opportunities borne out of frustrating circumstances.

One of the gifts of being away for long periods of time is that I come back seeing things from a different perspective. I’ve been able to encourage my parents and Carly’s caregiver by sharing progress I see that they don’t always fully recognize when they are with her every day. It’s also hard to see, up close, the ways this pandemic has challenged them all. Carly is extremely adventurous and social. It is heartbreaking to see her working so hard to cope with the changes and navigate what is going on. I have been encouraged to see her doing so well despite how immensely difficult this season must be for her.

One of the gifts of being away for long periods of time is that I come back seeing things from a different perspective.

Carly’s favorite times seem to be when everyone is together. I know that my presence brings a certain amount of peace to Carly. But I also know the confusion and grief she will feel when I again leave for another unknown period of time.

Through it all, I am feeling so thankful to get to be with my family this Holiday season, knowing it could easily have gone differently.

As a sister, it’s wonderful to know that bringing myself back into Carly’s world can bring some normalcy and joy to this chaotic season of her life.

And I know that some Carly snuggles will do me worlds of good too.


Erin is a singer-songwriter and worship leader. Her songwriting, blogging, and speaking is often inspired by challenges and insights she experienced growing up in a family affected by disability. Erin serves with Walk Right In Ministries speaking on special sibling issues and assisting with social media. She has also served frequently in her community and home church as a worship leader. Erin earned her Bachelor of Arts Degree in Songwriting at Belmont University in Nashville and currently lives in California where she completed three years of study at the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. Her latest CD Come Alive (released 2018) and is available on iTunes, Amazon, Spotify, YouTube and other streaming services.

Find out more at www.erinjamieson.com.