Category: New Year

Ruts to Recovery

A lot of family caregivers are starting this near year depleted. As a special needs mother myself, I understand how wearying it is to provide 24/7 care for a medically complex and intellectually-developmentally delayed adult daughter. I’m also a pastoral counsellor and caregiver consultant who spent many hours last year hearing stories of moms, dads, and caregiving siblings wrestling with unfulfilled longing as well as things like “Covid-fatigue,” guilt, worry, restlessness and feeling stuck in the “woe-is-me” rut.

“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Hebrews 4:16

None of us wants to continue suffering from the same mental or emotional plagues of 2020 for another year. On the road to recovering from the bumps, bruises and ruts of the past, it is helpful — even essential — to understand that certain behaviors and response patterns have become ingrained in us. Some of those patterns are simply ineffective. Others are outright ungodly and unhealthy.

Once we recognize there is an unhelpful pattern, God can begin to show us there is hope for a way out of it. We can ask Him to teach us new habits and pathways toward thriving.

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. 

Ephesians 1:18-20

From my observations and some personal experience as well, there is one particular pattern that can be a common among caregivers in families impacted by disability:

  • Your self-esteem or sense of security feels attacked. 
    Do you feel invisible or under-appreciated, even taken for granted? Has something triggered insecurity or a lack of purpose? Has someone withheld affection? Do you feel rejected?
  • Your defenses get triggered. 
    Do you feel hurt, angry, or weak? Has someone in your life or something about your circumstances made you stiffen your back or harden your heart?
  • Emotional intensity grows. 
    Do you start to get passionate as you battle to feel understood, accepted, appreciated or loved?
  • You rely on others to pump you back up. 
    Do you have an intense need to feel known and accepted? Who do you depend on to bolster your self-esteem when your spirits are low?
  • You become disappointed in how people respond.
    Have people fallen short of your expectations? Do your needs feel neglected or unseen? Have you experienced heart-wounds that began to fester and then grew into a root of bitterness and resentment? Have you been able to make your needs clear?
  • Shame develops.
    Do you recognize some self-centeredness? Although some sense of conviction and a need for repentance may be appropriate, have you felt yourself spiral into self-loathing?
  • Your esteem suffers another setback.

Friend, let me join you in asking God to give you a new “song” to sing!

And they sang a new song with these words: “You are worthy to take the scroll and break its seals and open it. For you were slaughtered, and your blood has ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation.”

Revelation 5:9

There is a new, healthy and effective pattern you can cultivate in 2021 to break the ugly cycles of discouragement. There is a place to take your vulnerability and a way to find a deep sense of security. There is freedom from the grip of painful patterns.

To prevent and escape your ruts, try working this recovery pattern toward peace, rest and hope:

FUEL UP

Soak in your identity as God’s son/daughter. Learn to appreciate yourself and God’s unique imprint on you. Learn godly ways to meet your most intimate longings.

CHECK YOUR HEART

Make an honest assessment of yourself and repent of your sins.

  • Lord, if I have unconfessed sin, help me to bring it humbly to You. Thank you for giving me freedom and another chance to lean on You to do better.
  • Lord, remind me how YOU feel about me. Help me to believe the truth about who I am in Christ.
SEEK RECONCILIATION

Make amends with others as God leads you.

  • Lord, give me compassion to understand how others are experiencing the situation too.
  • Lord, show me if I have hurt someone. Help me confess any of my own sin to You. Help me go to others and seek their forgiveness. Help me to forgive them, even if they do not humbly ask for my forgiveness. (Show me how to keep safe and practical boundaries without harboring ill will to towards others.) Help me to release all of my expectations about how others will respond. Teach me to put all of my hope in You.
REPLACE LIES WITH TRUTH

Keep leaning back into God’s true design for life and love. You are a beloved child of the King! Saturate your mind with specific truths about those lies:

  • There is no condemnation in Christ; He pursues you with compassion. (See Romans 8:1 and Isaiah 30:18.)
  • You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. (See Philippians 4:13.)
  • At just the right time, God is going to make your efforts fruitful. (See Galatians 6:9.)
  • Jesus has called you to live in peace, truth and purpose. This is a gift of God, not something you earn. (See Romans 12:18, Psalm 86:11, Psalm 57:2 and Ephesians 2:8-9.)
  • God will be faithful to complete you. You are already a masterpiece but also a work-in-progress. (See Jeremiah 29:11-14, Ephesians 2:10 and Philippians 1:6.)

This is a trustworthy pattern backed by the countless promises of Almighty God! You can rest assured that God will faithfully honor a lifestyle that practices a pattern like this. Practice is the operative word. Practice won’t make perfect — only Jesus was perfect — but your practice will bring progress. Pray and keep working the process.

Friends, let’s cast off the weights of sin and depleting patterns, asking God to walk us out of darkness and into the light of a new year — one day and one step of faith at a time.

Lord, teach me to rely on You for my sense of security, affirmation and hope. Help me to practice healthy new patterns this year. I can’t do anything good without Your help, Jesus! Strengthen me to develop a habit of seeking You first when my soul is aching. Interrupt my thoughts and emotions when they are stuck in loneliness, emptiness, self-loathing or self-pity. Remind me that I am your precious and treasured child. Help me to see myself and my potential in the way that You see it. Help me to rest in the promises You’ve made to me. And fill my soul with Your loving kindness so that I overflow with Your good gifts to others. As I receive compassion from You, Jesus, I want to have that same compassion for myself and others. Make me an instrument of love.  

Lisa Jamieson

LISA JAMIESON is a special needs family advocate and co-founder of Walk Right In Ministries where she serves as a caregiver coach and pastoral counsellor. Lisa and her husband, Larry, live in Minnesota with the youngest of their three grown daughters, Carly, who has Angelman Syndrome. Lisa’s books and Bible studies include Finding Glory in the Thorns and the picture book Jesus, Let’s Talk.

God’s Words: Rich with Meaning and History for Us

Psalm 16:11
You will show me the way of life,
granting me the joy of your presence
and the pleasures of living with you forever.

I have history with this verse.

My first recall of resonating with Psalm 16:11 goes back to 2009 when I was writing curriculum for a women’s conference where I was to speak four times throughout the weekend. The Lord used my circumstances at that time and my posture with Him during that season to ripen my heart to hear something deeply personal in the promise of Psalm 16:11. Then God grew fruit out of that for the benefit of about 130 other women as we explored the presence and voice of God for two days together. Ever since that time, there has been a spiritual “nostalgia” wrapped into that particular passage for me.

Several scriptures have developed relevance for me in specific seasons of relationships and circumstances throughout my life. For example, I wrote my first worship song around Hebrews 11:1 shortly after I made a personal decision to follow Jesus when I was 14 years old.

I know this is true for many of us. In the ministry work I do, I have had the privilege of hearing hundreds of stories from people around the world about how different scriptures have been personal and powerful for them. It’s common for people of faith to identify with certain verses at memorable moments for poignant reasons that only God could have stirred. After all, scripture is “alive and active” according to Hebrews 4:12.

God will never stop speaking to us through His Word.

John 1:1-5
1 In the beginning the Word already existed.
    The Word was with God,
    and the Word was God.
2 He existed in the beginning with God.
3 God created everything through him,
    and nothing was created except through him.
4 The Word gave life to everything that was created,
    and his life brought light to everyone.
5 The light shines in the darkness,
    and the darkness can never extinguish it.

Considering how much personal history can be packed in certain scriptures, that got me reflecting on this year. After all, 2020 was a remarkable year. And there are a handful of scriptures that stand out to me as having met me in remarkable ways this year. In some cases, God just kept threading themes into my conversations with others that would lead me back to related passages. In other times, God’s words came to me in big moments — moments packed with meaning, deep thoughts or large emotions. The intensity of 2020 and the nature of feeling sort of stalled out in time, tended to keep me circling my faith wagons around scriptural places of resonance, insight, comfort, anchoring truth and hope.

Creating an annual highlights list of scriptures can be an encouraging and
meaningful way to reflect on our personal history and faith stories.

These verses reflect recurring landing points or pivotal moments in my life and faith during 2020:

1 Peter 5:9
Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.

Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

2 Cor 1:8-11
We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. And you are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety.

Proverbs 14:10
Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.

2 Peter 3:9
The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.

Joshua 5 & 6 (especially 5:15)
The commander of the Lord’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” 

Note: I found a model in Joshua for an important reset in my life this year. If you’re interested, you can read that story here.

Luke 1:39-42
Mary hurried to the hill country of Judea, to the town where Zechariah lived. She entered the house and greeted Elizabeth. At the sound of Mary’s greeting, Elizabeth’s child leaped within her, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. Elizabeth gave a glad cry and exclaimed to Mary, “God has blessed you above all women, and your child is blessed.

I now have a “history” with these verses that I will carry with me for my lifetime. They reflect intimate lessons God has poured into me. They represent a sort of private dialogue I feel I’ve had with Him during 2020.

I love that about the scriptures! As in any relationship, there are moments shared in a conversation that stick out in our minds and stay treasured in our memories. I’m so grateful to have the kind of relationship with Jesus that produces these kinds of memories and keeps influencing me as a disciple of Christ throughout my life!  

I have found it remarkably encouraging, inspiring and forward-pointing for me to reflect on these verses that have marked 2020 for me. The process itself was a powerful reassurance to me of God’s intimate presence, power and goodness in my life, particularly during some dark or complicated days.

I’m excited! I see a new and meaningful tradition starting here. I plan to spend some time every December from here on, asking God to show me those scriptures that defined, repositioned or grew my faith that year.

What scriptures are part of your faith history? What are some intimately memorable ways God has spoken into your life through His words this past year?

I would love to hear how you will remember hearing God speak to you in 2020. Please share in the comments or contact me through Walk Right In Ministries.

LISA JAMIESON is a special needs family advocate and co-founder of Walk Right In Ministries where she serves as a caregiver coach and pastoral counsellor. Lisa and her husband, Larry, live in Minnesota with the youngest of their three grown daughters, Carly, who has Angelman Syndrome. Lisa’s books and Bible studies include Finding Glory in the Thorns and the picture book Jesus, Let’s Talk.

Resource Corner: Tools for a Listening Season

Hello, hello my friends! As we make the final stretch toward Christmas, I wanted to share some tips, tricks and listening tools that are helping me through exhaustion and loneliness. They might seem simple but they have been game changers for me.

Start your day with the Lord — through a worship playlist.

I have not been sleeping well. Families impacted by disability and other special needs will surely understand this. For the past couple weeks the glaring alarm clock has become the bane of my existence. When I succumb back into sleep (I’m trying to get up on the first alarm!), I’ve started to play my worship playlist so I wake up to it four minutes later. It has really helped me start the day in a better mood and grounds me into the day to come.

Upon listening to the songs on my list throughout my morning routine, I’m realizing how deeply personal the songs are to my prayer life and relationship with Christ. And in my relationships with others too. I’ve been praying about what has hurt me and what I take to the Lord every day.

I have searched for songs that speak into those things. I’m finding that the words of others can be borrowed for a time to help heal and shape some of my deepest hurts. Some songs included, but not absolutely limited to, are Holy Water by We The Kingdom, Good Good Father by Housefires, Hallelujah Even Here by Lydia Laird and Whole Heart by Hillsong United.

While I know introspection and worship can be deeply personal, this music has been a fun and interesting way for me to be reminded daily of the goodness of God. I’d love to hear some of your favorite songs that help get you through the day!

Set intentional time aside with the Lord.

I’ve had the Holy Bible app downloaded on my phone for has long as I’ve had a smartphone. But I recently discovered a whole new way to use it. I may be late to the party but I usually use it to look up scripture when I’m creating an Instagram post or when I’m trying to think of a new email signature. Little did I know that they have hundreds of devotionals!

You can browse the numerous categories they have or you can search by keyword. It can read the content to you alongside any task you tackle in the day (much like listening to an audiobook or your favorite podcast). I’ve added a video below to show you how to find a study you like and how fast it can be.

The app also provides interactive bible study stories for our friends who are young and young at heart. The devotionals can range from just a few days to several months long. It will keep track of your progress and even send you reminders everyday if you want it to. You can do studies privately or with friends to keep each other accountable. And you can save plans for later if you stumble on one that looks intriguing but you’re not ready to get started.

Sometimes I get so intimidated by guilt or obligation to do my quiet times and therefore don’t do them. This has made it easy to commit and make space in my day.

Lighten up and laugh with others.

Since this month’s Resource Corner seems to be all about listening, I think I’ll round it out with the Mama Bear Podcast. Sean and Mary Susan McConnell adopted their daughter Abiella, who has cerebral palsy and microcephaly. As the host of the show, Mary Susan shares any and all stories of their lives.

Upon bring Abi home, Mary Susan was pursuing her Masters in Curriculum, Instruction, and Assessment and has since completed her Doctorate in Special Education. She is one smart mama and is so raw and real I believe that I am friends with her when I am listening to her stories. She brings intimate insight into struggles and solutions that only a special parent would know and she makes this big world feel so much simpler when she talks about Abi and the joy she feels and brings.

One of my favorite episodes is #108 where Mary Susan and Sean talk about the parenting goals they did and did not meet in 2019 and what they want to accomplish in 2020. Another one that caught my attention is #82 as Mary Susan shares a list of ten tiny things that can help in the chaos. I found it to be extremely encouraging and inspiring.

The McConnell’s make me laugh a lot I look forward to her new weekly episodes.

As we celebrate Christmas and enjoy listening to the sounds of the season, we can be assured that God hears us too. Jesus came. He knows our heart cries and our needs intimately. And He came to offer us the best of all possible gifts on the ultimate of all rescue missions.

Lo’ He is with us always — from manger babe to risen King!

Claire Krantz is a blogger, reader, hiker, camper, game-player, puzzle nut, music fan and general lover-of-people. She speaks in exclamations points — which is her friends’ way of saying she exudes cheer, encouragement, hope and fun. She grew up and lives in the Midwest where she is personally and professionally dedicated to living among friends of all abilities and celebrating God’s unique and purposeful design of every person. 

Follow more of Claire’s reading adventures on Instagram @readingwithcb.

A Sibling’s Perspective On Visiting Home for Christmas

I think I can speak for all of us when I say the last year has been riddled with difficult decisions and the experience of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. There have been very few (if any) easy solutions in this season of life. It’s overwhelming to say the least. There are so many layers to the ways this pandemic has affected each of us.

For me, when the shelter in place was ordered in my state back in March of this year, it marked an unexpected and abrupt ending to my last year of ministry school. It was a frustrating and disappointing loss. My family had planned a trip to California for my graduation complete with a caregiver for my sister Carly so we could all enjoy ourselves through the festivities. (Carly is 22 years old and has Angelman Syndrome.) I certainly missed the opportunity to celebrate such a monumental moment alongside my family whom I hadn’t seen since Christmas 2019.

Of course at that point in time, none of us knew the extent to which this pandemic would encroach on our plans, and our lives.

I knew when I moved across the country from my family that there would be times we would have to go long periods of time without seeing one another. But I never imagined having such a barrier between my family and me. I never imagined a world where I would have to protect my sister by staying away from her.

Erin (left) and Carly (right) enjoying the snuggle-hug we all love.

For most of the fall it looked like I wouldn’t be coming home for the holidays this year. Trying to navigate travel and figuring out how to adequately quarantine and protect my family while limiting my time away from my commitments back in California was a feat.

I never imagined a world where I would have to protect my sister by staying away from her.

For better or worse, the lockdowns in my state actually allowed me the flexibility to come home for the holidays. However, in order to limit travel, coming home for Thanksgiving meant staying through the New Year—a break I would have been used to in my college years, but a long time to be away from your own home when you’re 25 years old.

Bittersweet. It’s all bittersweet. Opportunities borne out of frustrating circumstances.

One of the gifts of being away for long periods of time is that I come back seeing things from a different perspective. I’ve been able to encourage my parents and Carly’s caregiver by sharing progress I see that they don’t always fully recognize when they are with her every day. It’s also hard to see, up close, the ways this pandemic has challenged them all. Carly is extremely adventurous and social. It is heartbreaking to see her working so hard to cope with the changes and navigate what is going on. I have been encouraged to see her doing so well despite how immensely difficult this season must be for her.

One of the gifts of being away for long periods of time is that I come back seeing things from a different perspective.

Carly’s favorite times seem to be when everyone is together. I know that my presence brings a certain amount of peace to Carly. But I also know the confusion and grief she will feel when I again leave for another unknown period of time.

Through it all, I am feeling so thankful to get to be with my family this Holiday season, knowing it could easily have gone differently.

As a sister, it’s wonderful to know that bringing myself back into Carly’s world can bring some normalcy and joy to this chaotic season of her life.

And I know that some Carly snuggles will do me worlds of good too.

Erin is a singer-songwriter and worship leader. Her songwriting, blogging, and speaking is often inspired by challenges and insights she experienced growing up in a family affected by disability. Erin serves with Walk Right In Ministries speaking on special sibling issues and assisting with social media. She has also served frequently in her community and home church as a worship leader. Erin earned her Bachelor of Arts Degree in Songwriting at Belmont University in Nashville and currently lives in California where she completed three years of study at the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. Her latest CD Come Alive (released 2018) and is available on iTunes, Amazon, Spotify, YouTube and other streaming services.

Find out more at www.erinjamieson.com.

I Considered a Life Reset and Got the Reboot I Never Expected

In the late spring of 2020 when it started becoming clear that Covid quarantining wasn’t going to end soon, I started realizing a lifestyle reset was in order. It took several months and an untimely accident to shake me to my core and get my soul powered up for the long winter at home parenting an adult child who doesn’t understand why her world has so dramatically changed.

You know how it is when you restart your computer. The process is designed to clear errors and bring the system to normal condition in a controlled manner. My phone reminds me on a weekly basis to restart all of my devices. I’m told that a reset puts less stress on the hardware than power cycling because the power isn’t removed. How interesting!

I would really like my life to be cleared of errors and to feel like it’s working in an orderly manner. And, as this computer metaphor suggests, I would benefit from staying connected to my Power Source in the midst of transitions.

Life sure does benefit from a ‘restart’ now and again. Many of us try to reset our priorities on New Year’s Eve. A new schoolyear and birthdays are seen like fresh starts for many. Spiritually speaking, repentance gives us a chance to begin anew too.

Acts 3:19-20 
Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord, and he will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah.

2 Corinthians 5:17 
Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

I’ve been desperate for refreshing lately while asking God to protect some old stuff I actually did NOT want gone!

My 22-year-old daughter Carly has Angelman Syndrome and lives at home. Her anxiety and difficult behaviors have ebbed and flowed through degrees of troublesome to exhausting throughout the pandemic. She’s confused. She’s lonely. She’s bored. She needs more physical touch — lots more. Like you and me, she’s sick of it all. But she doesn’t have effective coping skills or communication abilities to give voice to her many feelings and needs. She’s destroying clothing (chewing collars and sleeves, literally ripping pajamas off at night and risking damage to her teeth on zippers). She’s having trouble going to sleep at night and staying asleep throughout. She gets agitated during the day without our creatively offering as many choices as possible on laminated photo cards. I fear the poor girls feels like she has no control over her world anymore. Last week she bit me twice — hard. This from the girl who hasn’t bit me more than two or three times in her whole life until now.

In the midst of navigating Carly’s needs, the usual household chores and several pressing work deadlines, my husband and I sat down to finish recording a presentation we were doing for the Wonderfully Made Conference. We wrapped up just before lunch one day back in September and I decided to eat a sandwich on our deck while catching up on a few emails. After that I was going to record another of my personal presentations.

It was in that moment of sunshine when our already sideways world turned completely upside down.

I spilled a full glass of orange juice on my laptop. Let’s just say that the past four weeks since that day have been deeply disappointing, stretching and eye-opening. The irony of the situation was not lost on me. The conference presentation I was going to record after lunch that day was titled, “RESET: A Seasonal Necessity for Special Needs Families.”

My original inspiration for the subject was the pandemic. Now I was living a metaphor that had me squirming deeply. It took me to my knees day after day while we waited for the data recovery specialist to bring news that my badly damaged hard drive was restored. A couple of weeks went by and the conference organizers were graciously waiting on me. But their window of flexibility was quickly narrowing. Other concerns and timelines were looming too.

One morning, I had a caregiver staffed with Carly for the day so I could get back to regrouping and trying to record my presentation from memory — without my notes or PowerPoint slides. I was tempted to throw down breakfast and head straight into the battle before me. I longed to take a cup of tea and my Bible to our deck as the warm fall days will soon be past. But that felt indulgent on a day when opportunity to “take the hill” was in front of me and I had help with Carly for a limited time.

Reluctantly taking a lesson from myself and many past talks I’ve given to countless others, I leaned into Jesus’ prompting to carry His lighter burden and go to the deck anyway. Against all my task-oriented leanings and self-reliant ways, I tried to yield to that still small voice that wooed me, “be still, Lisa.” One of the original verses I had planned to reference in the RESET talk was ringing in my ears, “Come to me…find rest for your soul.” (Matthew 11:28-29)

I sat down wondering where to open my Bible but got distracted. My mind wandered to Joshua 3 and 4. Those are favorite passages that inspired the naming of Walk Right In Ministries back in 2008. And they continue to be reminder and inspiration to me about walking in faith, one step at a time, and trusting God to show each next step as I trust Him and obey Him.

For a moment I got curious. What, specifically, happened right after the Israelites crossed over the Jordan River to the Promised Land? I could specifically recall. I knew that their lives of slavery and then wandering in the desert were followed by a period of many victories in battles that seemed insurmountable. But I couldn’t remember whether the Bible gave any specifics about the transition period between marking the Gilgal spot with a pile of rocks and then heading into that first battle.

Immediately, I had a sense that there could be clues in Joshua 5 or a powerful example of a God-style, God-sized, power-packed reset. What I found there was, in fact, a gold mine. Within about 15 minutes time, I had a roadmap and encouragement to step back into my life with peace and a renewed sense of empowerment. My fear was gone and my frustration was released. The sense of pressure I felt to dig into my projects no longer had a grip on me or my blood pressure. I felt like the soldiers walking quietly and patiently around Jericho simply waiting for the final blast of the horn. I wondered what walls God was planning to throw down when I had the chance to shout praise for His perfect timing and process on the road to my Promised Land.

That was a holy moment in my life. Reading Joshua 5 and 6 with a deep personal need and new perspective was just what I needed. I was no longer stuck and my process for a course correction was clear.

As a bonus, I had a brand new (and much better) outline for my presentation. What would have taken me a couple of days to rebuild, had been reestablished with fresh perspective and new fire (passion) in just minutes. Once again, the Divine irony.

Here is the Joshua reset model God showed me.

REAFFIRM IDENTITY — Joshua 5:2-7

Remembering WHO and WHOSE they were was essential to claiming the promises and hope ahead. The only reason that circumcision mattered was because there was a promise on the other side.

We tend to let disability start to define us as individuals and a family. We can tend to give disability too much power over our grief, logistics, attitudes towards caregiving, etc.When one of our daughters once exclaimed in frustration many years ago, “We’re so high maintenance!” I knew we needed to review how we thought about disability in our family.

Romans 2:29 
True circumcision is not merely obeying the letter of the law; rather, it is a change of heart produced by the Spirit.

REST — Joshua 5:8

Before heading straight into battle, the Israelites spent time recovering and regrouping from everything behind them.

Getting adequate self-care feels impossible for many caregivers. We need to have compassion for ourselves in weakness and trust God while we fight for refreshment in mind, body and spirit. I fight as hard for sleep, respite, vacations, staycations and deep connections with loved ones as I ever did for Carly’s IEPs, quality medical care, therapies and healing.

CELEBRATE — Joshua 5:9-10

God told them to roll away the shame of their slavery in Egypt. He knew that the Passover Feast (a celebration of God’s faithfulness) would restore their confidence in Him, boost their morale and bond them as an army of warriors for the battle ahead.

Our investment in celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and family reunions — despite how difficult that can be to make happen — is a way to cultivate appreciation and grace for each other while developing relational bonds. Those bonds will be valuable to us and our children’s future in ways we probably can’t fully understand now.

FUEL UP — Joshua 5:11-12

The Israelites stopped eating the manna of the past and starting nourishing on the crops of Canaan (the Promised Land).

Ecclesiastes 7:10 
Don’t long for the “good old days,” for you don’t know whether they were any better than today.

We have to keep saturating our minds with God’s promises, our future hope. There is too much temptation to dwell on life’s ease before disability or fantasies about what the future would look like without it. Fueling up on gratitude and God’s promises helps me keep my goals and priorities in perspective. Effective soul care keeps me energized too. Our family has used Christian temperament therapy for almost 25 years to understand how God uniquely created each one of us. And that helps us learn to optimize our strengths, recognize our weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and teaches us how to tap our full potential by leaning into the power of the Holy Spirit within us.

WALK IN ATTENTIVENESS TO GOD — Joshua 5:13 to Joshua 6:21

The Israelites needed to pay attention to God every step of the way. As he walked toward his battlefield, Joshua asked God, “What do you want your servant to do? (Joshua 5:14-15) As God’s army of chosen people asked for His leadership, trusted His strategy, obeyed methodically and responded thoroughly, God made them strong.

Seeking God for guidance and help as a lifestyle impacts how we put supports in place and build teams (respite staff, volunteer helpers, medical providers, supports planners, church, IEPs, guardianship and wills, etc.). God is ready to help us handle crisis (illness/hospitalization, pandemic) and approach transitions (education, caregiving team, jobs) too.

Joshua and the Israelite army did not rush but walked methodically in faith and obedience (Joshua 6:3-5) trusting for the promise (Joshua 6:2). They had to be thorough in their obedient follow-through by destroying everything and not taking anything with them. All of the plunder was to be an offering to the Lord. (Joshua 6:17-21).

This day and this situation is not just about WHAT and WHOSE battles we fight but HOW we fight them.

Matthew 11:28-29  Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you…and you will find rest for your souls. 

I’m still unpacking the full meaning of Joshua’s reset model for my own march toward the promises of God. And I’m excited. I’m no longer stuck in regrets about the past or lamenting what is lacking yet today. I’ve captured the vision of my Israelite ancestors and I’m walking in freedom, anticipating the surprises of God’s love.

What can this look like for YOU?
What are your next steps toward the promises God has for you and your family?
What is on the other side of COVID, our marriage storm or disability?
What is on the other side of anything that is disabling you or your family?

Like Joshua, let’s stop right now and pray, “What do you want me to do?” and then worship God. Joshua worshipped by taking off his sandals and recognizing the holiness of that moment on the edge of promise (Joshua 5:15).

Recognize YOUR Holy Moment!
Walk closely with your God and let Him pave your way to His love.

Watch Reset: A Seasonal Necessity for Special Needs Families.

LISA JAMIESON is a special needs family advocate and co-founder of Walk Right In Ministries where she serves as a caregiver coach and pastoral counsellor. Lisa and her husband, Larry, live in Minnesota with the youngest of their three grown daughters, Carly, who has Angelman Syndrome. Lisa’s books and Bible studies include Finding Glory in the Thorns and the picture book Jesus, Let’s Talk.

Four Promises to Anchor and Encourage One Another During the Holidays

1. Nobody is immune to trouble but we have hope.
Jesus said “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NLT)
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)
2. God remains your most faithful advocate.
The Israelites continued to groan under their burden of slavery. They cried out for help, and their cry rose up to God. God heard their groaning, and he remembered his covenant promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He looked down on the people of Israel and knew it was time to act. Yes, I am aware of their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them.”  Exodus 2:23-25, 3:7-8 (NLT)
So Jesus told them this story: 4 “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. 6 When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away! Luke 15:3-7 (NLT)
And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.  Romans 8:26-27 (NLT) 
3. You are never alone.
So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 1 Peter 5:6-10 (NLT)
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (NLT)
4. When you suffer, God’s comfort will be multiplied to you and through you.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NLT)





Gear Up for Good Gifts

Thanksgiving, Christmas and a New Year are right around the corner. Days will be busy for most and lonely for some. Wherever we are on that spectrum, there is opportunity. I want to paint a picture of how we can give and receive life-lifting gifts this holiday season.

“And let our people learn to devote themselves to good works, 
so as to help cases of urgent need, and not be unfruitful.” Titus 3:14

Do you remember how it felt when you were the kid who got picked last because you ran a little slower than the rest, weren’t quick enough with your times tables or just weren’t wearing the right color shirt that day?  How about that time when a sprained ankle kept you on the bench? Your mom made you go to the game saying, “you’re still part of the team and need to show your support even if you can’t play!” Some part of you wanted to be there with your friends but another part would just rather have stayed home alone than be trapped on the sidelines unable to fully participate. 
The holiday season stirs very similar tensions for folks who are wrestling with something that is challenging or seems to differentiate them from the crowd.  Imagine these holiday scenarios:
You are the parent of a child with autism who has been invited to attend the family Thanksgiving. The atmosphere will create stress for your child — and so for you too. You anticipate being exhausted trying to manage your child’s disruptive behaviors. You will spend a lot of time on the periphery of the group watching other parents enjoying the freedom to relax in conversations and play traditional holiday games. You’ll probably spend the afternoon trying to help your child avoid a myriad of scene-causing possibilities from sensory overload to a toileting catastrophe or seizure.  Knowing you’ll get depressed and feel guilty for resenting others who will sip a drink and casually balance a full dinner plate in their lap, you consider staying home.
You have been having some difficulty remembering names and staying focused in conversations. It is frightening to go out in public. You aren’t comfortable speaking in case someone hears that you are struggling. You regret that you’ll miss seeing the grandchildren play but your mounting fears remind you that staying home feels safer.
You’d like to be with family for the upcoming holiday dinner but you don’t want to drag everyone down. You wish you could sit quietly on the couch just soaking up some of the joy around the room but you’ll feel pressure to participate and look happy. You suspect the family has wearied of your moods and just wants you to snap out of it. You feel misunderstood, unwanted and unsafe.
Going to church for the special holiday services has always been a joy for you but now it feels overwhelming. Seeing happy families reminds you of that loved one who won’t be with you this year. Unexpected moments of raw grief quickly spiral out of control. The last thing you want to do is draw attention, feel out of control or cast a shadow on someone else’s joy.
When Carly was first diagnosed with Angelman Syndrome, I suddenly found myself experiencing a paradox — surrounded by people who loved me yet feeling very alone. Some part of me knew these were not rational feelings. Yet I still encounter too many triggers for feelings of disappointment and isolation, especially during the holidays.  
Nobody likes to feel different, undervalued, isolated, last or lonely. Yet there is heartache and longing to feel included all around us. Whether you’re the one feeling sidelined during these holidays or someone who is enthusiastically gearing up for the celebrations, I hope you’ll pray for radar to recognize the Divine promises and opportunities.
4 Promises that Anchor and Encourage People
1.      Nobody is immune to trouble but we have hope.
Jesus said “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NLT)
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)
2.      God remains your most faithful advocate.
The Israelites continued to groan under their burden of slavery. They cried out for help, and their cry rose up to God. God heard their groaning, and he remembered his covenant promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He looked down on the people of Israel and knew it was time to act. Yes, I am aware of their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them.”  Exodus 2:23-25, 3:7-8 (NLT)
So Jesus told them this story: 4 “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. 6 When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away! Luke 15:3-7 (NLT)

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.  Romans 8:26-27 (NLT)

3.      You are never alone.
So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 1 Peter 5:6-10 (NLT)
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (NLT)
4.      When you suffer, God’s comfort will be multiplied to you and through you.
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NLT)
5 Ways to Ease Someone’s Heartache During the Holidays
  1. Notice someone who may be hurting — Reassure someone who feels isolated that they are not invisible. Let a simple word or act of kindness speak clearly that people matter to you and to God. “Tithe” a few moments of each day to send a kind email or hand-written note, make a phone call, do an act of service or give a grocery/gas card. While you’re out in the community, be intentional and generous with your eye contact and a smile.
  2. Just BE — Come over and hang out next to someone (whether it’s across the room or across town). You don’t have to know what to say. Resist pulling back from relationships that feel awkward or too complicated. Your presence ministers so much more than you know.
  3. Listen first, then listen some more — Ask what somebody is thinking, feeling or wanting. Take time to understand what the person is experiencing and, without analyzing or judging them, learn how they are coping with life’s challenges.
  4. Remind someone of God’s sure promise — Share one of the examples above or describe one of God’s promises that has been tangible for you recently.
  5. Express appreciation and affirmation — Thank people for sharing their heart with you, for helping you learn something, or for coming to the party even though it was hard. Let someone know that their patient endurance through hardship inspires you. Tell a caregiver that they are doing a good, important and beautiful work.
Have you believed the lie that you are too busy to be used by God in sharing someone’s burden this holiday season? Or are you someone who is feeling too stuck or too broken to experience God’s touch? 
Here’s the truth:
God will generously provide all you need.
Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. 
2 Corinthians 9:8 (NLT)
Let’s remember together that we live and move and have our being by the grace and power of God, not ourselves (lest we might boast about it). 
What wonderful inspiration and opportunity to carry us through these holidays and into a new year!


Will you be “growing up” in 2015?

When 2015 ends, I want to look back and see a woman that was stretched and nurtured into someone even more beautiful than I was when the year started.  I already have a few Bible verses, themes and ideas running around in my mind about how God may be trying to shape and refine me for a new year. I hope you do also.  

Today I’m sharing one of those themes rattling around in my busy brain. Writing it down gives me a greater sense of accountability but I also hope it spurs you on to see how someone else is wrestling with and enjoying the process of discovering God and relationship with Him in deepening ways. I know this kind of conversation is one way God uses community to encourage and inspire us all.

The word CONSECRATED has been sticking out to me (along with ANOINTED) in scriptures since late fall. I’ve been planning to sit down early in the new year and prayerfully consider how the Lord would want me to consecrate my life in fresh ways. I’ve been thinking about my roles as wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend and servant of God but also looking at my lifestyle and disciplines to see how God might be prompting me to new and better ways.

I believe it’s a good thing to be both content and aspiring as a Christian. I am content and confident that I am a child of God who is adored by Him just as I already am. I am also aspiring to be changed — to be more like Jesus. The older I get, the more aware I am of by brokenness, my sinful nature and my utter dependence on God. I find greater delight being in His presence than ever before.  


Here are three passages that are inspiring me: 

Leviticus 8:10  “Then Moses took the anointing oil and anointed the tabernacle and everything in it, and so consecrated them.” 

Joshua 3:5 “Joshua told the people, ‘Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.’” 

1 Timothy 4:4-6 “For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. If you point these things out to the brothers and sisters, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, nourished on the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed.” 

SO HOW ABOUT YOU? Any themes, words or verses popping out for you lately or inspiring you into 2015? 

Let’s encourage one another in how we’re feeling prompted by the Lord to keep GROWING UP IN HIM.


Top Blog Posts for 2013!

We are looking back at WRIM Blog reader favorites for 2013. If you missed them the first time around, we hope you are blessed today. Happy new year, friends!

Movie Nights with Purpose 

Attending our first Gideon Film Festival two years ago spawned a vision for Walk Right In Ministries to use movies as another of our tools to help… Continued here. 

Shawn & Evan’s Glory Story 

God is using your prayers and gifts to invite His children affected by disabilities, giving them new hope in Him. One person who was in need of such hope was Shawn… Continued here. 

Recapping the Summit 

Larry and I returned from the 2013 Accessibility Summit on Sunday night and I’ve been anxious… Continued here. 

Tenderness in TransitionsLife has been full at my house this summer with life transitions facing us in all corners. We’ve “seen it all” in some respects from coordinating care for aging parents, “middle-aged” health issues of our own and parenting a severely handicapped teenager to sending our second off to college… Continued here. 

The Glory Story Unfolding with “One More Song”Normally, I would not use this venue so specifically for the promotion of a product, service, organization or person. But today I’m making an exception for some dear friends and a project I believe God is already using… Continued here. 

Where does that nagging ache in your marriage come from?A few months ago I read another wonderful book about marriage. I haven’t been blogging much lately but ran across my notes and couldn’t help but feel God’s timing… Continued here. 

Abigail’s Christmas Glory Story 

I want to thank Eileen Cushing for sharing today’s story about her daughter Abigail. God is working through her in a mighty way to encourage people and point them to Jesus… Continued here.

Back to Basics

Reading Jesus’ teaching about the fruitful vine has always been a helpful way for me to start a new year:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”  John 15:1-5

Periodic, intentional and aggressive “pruning” is always important because it serves to keep us firmly rooted in and thriving in our Vine. But getting back to the basics of life and faith are especially critical when confronted with things like crisis, chaos, discouragement or fear. Since that’s how Larry and I are starting 2012 — at times, overwhelmed and fearful — we’ve been re-anchoring on some of Jesus’ foundational teachings:
  • Abide in the Vine
  • Love others
  • Have faith like a child

These aren’t resolutions. These are a matter of survival and the way to thrive. And that’s not our theory. That’s God’s Divine promise.

NOTE: Due to a very full January calendar for our family and ministry, I am trimming my Blogging schedule for the next several weeks. I don’t like it. Writing is my passion and I have a lot of ideas about things to share soon. So even as I pray that the Lord keeps this quiet season short, I am praying that He is using the fresh start of a new year for each one of us — to train us toward the most critical things and shape us according to God’s heart.